Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
