So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
try to milk me bitch
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
