This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
