Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just high enough for therapy.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
