it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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