May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
