lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
