If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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