people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
