you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
