never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
