the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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