So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
