I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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