At least make sure they are 18
Why
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
