I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
