Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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