did you get engaged???
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My breasts were aching with rage.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
