I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
