Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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