if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
