The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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