The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
