I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
this will be a night to untag.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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