i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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