i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
