During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
