The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Be still, my beating vagina.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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