i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
