I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
there is glitter all over my balls
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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