That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
