We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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