There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
