Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
