I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
