): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
