I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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