Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
