Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
