did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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