i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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