i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
