was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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