im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
