This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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