I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
