we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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