dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
