Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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