Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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